Wanted

I never realized how active I was with badminton in my life before cancer. I am a part of this badminton egroup and even played quite a role in it.

This year, after being so visible, I dropped out of sight, not being able to play (doctors' orders, not by personal choice) and having to focus on getting well. Naturally, some people have started to look for me. Friends would text me how I am, when and where do I play; some just wondered what's been happening to me. Others would even goad me, saying that I'll turn fat (I am already fat! in case they haven't noticed). Another said that the standard answer is that I'm waiting for my hair to grow back as it was before I'll play again. Bottomline is, I'm starting to feel like a wanted fugitive. =)

Until now, only a handful of people from this group of friends know about my condition. I have only seen some of them once or twice this year, and I was being ribbed on my transitional hairdo then. I have debated (and still is debating) with myself if I should tell the group about the cancer. I don't want pity from these people, for there's no reason to pity me. I also don't want a deluge of text messages and/or phone calls with the other end being awkward and not knowing what to say; for I would not know what to tell them too. I also don't want to hear any more smart assed (more like ignorant) comments on why I got cancer.

So, I have this reply that's fast becoming a standard: that I'm involved in a huge project (the project being OPLAN Vangie - healing and curing of Vangie - what else? my, how vain!); and that this project requires my full attention. And lastly, I'll see and play with them again. No time frame, only the promise of being visible once again. A promise I intend to keep!