Tests and Stress

This week have been full of half days at work since Wednesday. Mornings, I'd report to work and the afternoons are spent in the hospital, getting mammogram, ultrasound and doctor follow ups. Today would be no different. I'll be consulting the surgeon later yet again; this time with my mammo and ultrasound results.

I consulted with my oncologist yesterday, showed her my mammo and ultrasound results and she's quite satisfied. But she said it will be the surgeon who will decide what course of action to take next. So, I have to see the surgeon this afternoon, and hopefully, he'll clear me and this will be the end of the battery of tests - for now, anyway.

Those who are undergoing treatments for cancer are supposed to take it easy. Avoid stress. Well, it's been a very stressful three weeks; half of the time of which had me going bonkers thinking about possible recurrence, and the other half had me still going bonkers thinking what course of action to take in case there is indeed a recurrence.

I have been grouchy, crabby, sulky, sully and probably more. Most of the time, it's been a real effort to smile and to try to find humor in the situation. I feel sorry for the people around me, for they have to cope with my mood swings. I try to paint on a happy face everyday, sometimes I succeed, but sometimes I fail, for that I apologize.