Power Struggle?

I have been at my new job for almost 4 months now. Things have been hectic. The project I’m involved in is top priority…or so the management says. Humor me, indulge me, while I gripe. I have promised myself that I will not post negative things in my blog, but I have to let this out, otherwise, I might explode.

For the past 2 weeks, I’m really pissed. I have been griping to my sister, to my friends, and even to my sister’s boyfriend. (Wow!) Not exempted are some colleagues. The scenario has started playing around 5 months ago, maybe even earlier. Things have escalated and here we are, 4 months since I joined, and still nowhere to go, same place as where everything was 5 months ago.

This is the first time since I started working that I cannot get a firm footing on my work. This is one company that I cannot understand if it wants to take off or not. I am starting to look bad and lazy, not being able to accomplish anything. I have voiced this out to the COO of the food group in our meeting last Friday; I said that I am getting tired of all this hullabahoo. If only we can have the cooperation of all departments involved, without the constant bickerings and these departments trying to look good by making others look bad, things could have been accomplished way before the set deadlines. People acknowledge the urgency of the project and yet they do not have the SENSE of urgency. Come to think of it, I wonderif they have any sense at all.

As it is, because of the “power struggle” of certain links in the chain, I unwillingly became their pawn in their game. I have to don a lot of hats just to keep things afloat. I became their messenger, their ambassador of goodwill, their purchaser, their accountant, and a lot more. I am the “catch basin” of the odd jobs that needs to be done, so anything not accomplished reflects on me. I am getting tired of all these. I am beginning to question the wisdom of my choice in joining this company.

A lot of issues have to be resolved, not at management level, but at the executive level. Issues that were left alone, and continued to be unaddressed because feelings are being “spared.” Now, two of us in the team are suffering because of the apathy of some executives; and we are caught in the midst of all of it.

I am trying to be level-headed in all these going-ons, but I am really, really, really, really pissed and tired! I dread coming to work, not because I do not like my work (I do!), but because I know that another day will pass and I will still not accomplish anything significant. I have been reporting to work with a heavy heart, and I don’t like this at all. I am beginning to wonder how much bull I can take, and until when.

I promised I’ll give this thing a year, and so I shall. Let’s see if things will look better by April.