The Sun Shines Again

After almost two months of rough sailing in the deep waters of life, the sun is finally shining again.

I got a message from sister-in-law late this afternoon, informing me that brother's operation went well. I was surprised since I was told by my brother that his operation is scheduled for tomorrow. Well, at least, it is over now. He has appendectomy, and the best news is that no other mass was found.

Dad is doing fine and is going about his usual activities again. Mom's arthritis is improving, and so are her allergies.

Things are going to get better, I have always said, and yes, they are! =D

All's Well

All's well now in the homefront. Papa is doing okay post surgery. Brother's symptoms have resolved and he is now A-okay.

I never realised how stressed we all were until all's well. We were on the verge of fighting instead of supporting each other. I became a nag, which did not help at all. The rest of the family was either irritable or scared when I talked to them. It's a wonder that we were able to hold up under the storm.

I took the weekend off and let myself went a little insane, as per the advice of a friend, playing badminton day and night to let go of the stress. It worked! I think I am less cranky now, less prone to bursting into tears, less spaced out, and less sad.

I can now think with a clearer head. I can even hold the hand of a friend in need. Indeed, all's well that ends well.

Unbelievable

Unbelievable! That’s what it is. I just finished talking to Mama and my brother. Papa just had his surgery today and I called Mama up to ask about Papa. They are on their way home as we spoke. Papa is doing okay. Then I found out that my brother will be admitted to the hospital tonight. He has been having high fever for a week now and they found an abscess (?) in his stomach!

Is there no end???

Listen to Your Elders

Listen to your elders when they tell you stuff. Oftentimes, you will find the wisdom of these when you are faced with different situations in life.

When we were kids, we were not allowed to do anything else during mealtimes. Meals were taken at the dining table and not anywhere else. Not in front of the television, not while doing other things. We have to finish eating (at the dining table) first before we can be excused to go back to whatever it is we were doing before the meal. Up until now, if we are in Cagayan de Oro, when Ma says dinner is served, we would stop what we were doing (often watching tv) and sit down at the dining table to eat.

Here in Manila, living on our own, we are more flexible about this. Often, if I am alone, I would be eating in front of the tv. Last Saturday night was no exception. Sister was out and I was home by myself. I was working on something in front of the computer when I got hungry. I went to the kitchen and got a couple of breadsticks and some cheese spread. I proceeded to eat the breadsticks, putting on the spread as I ate along, eating in front of the computer, not wanting to be interrupted in my work. Undecided of I wanted a third stick or not, I looked at the remaining breadsticks. It was then that I took notice of my food up close and personal. Well, what do you know, out of the five sticks left, two have started to sprout something. It looks like daffodils! On a breadstick? That cannot be good, or nice. How can be molds be nice? or good?

It was then that I realised I might have eaten breadsticks that have "extra flavoring" on it. The cheese spread might have masked whatever taste it has. I cannot know for sure if the breadsticks I had eaten have molds on them or not. Oh, well. At least, the decision was made for me. I did not have a third stick as I threw out the rest of it.

So, eat your meal at the dining table and not in front of the television. That way, you can be sure that you do not have molds on your food.

I also learned that yes, molds can be good - they are good at killing appetites in a snap. Good for people who are dieting!?? *LOL*

Life Goes On

It has been a while since I last blogged. The past weeks has been very taxing, but not without a couple of comic moments. Time and again, I have tried to make an entry. I just end up sitting and staring at the computer screen, trying to put into words the jumble of thoughts going through my head; and as the dates indicate, I have not succeeded in doing so, until today.

Sickness has been very busy visiting family members. An aunt had to be operated on for kidney stones. Another aunt, the one taking care of the operated aunt, was found to have problems with her heart, requiring her to be fitted with a pacemaker. The aunt who had her kidney stones removed was also found to be a candidate for pacemaker fitting. Topping the “icing” on sickness cake so generously doled out to us was the news of Papa being diagnosed with cancer himself.

I wanted to complain, loud and make it crystal clear, to some higher being, to some bigwig, the boss, whoever is out there, why are YOU picking on US? What is so special about us? Why make us your favorites? Then when all the rage and emotions were spent (for the moment), I wonder what is in the big picture. Why not us? There must be something special about us that we are being clobbered left, right, front, back, and middle.

The strength, courage, and faith of the family are being sorely tested. There are times that I would just break down and cry, days when I have to force myself out of bed although I really wanted to just sleep and sleep and sleep, days that I find it hard to sleep, times that I find it difficult to breathe, and a lot of times when I would find myself short tempered and having zero tolerance for ineptitude.

As the days passed, I learned that the best way to cope with all these is to just accept, not accept blindly, but accept these trials and try to make the most of everything, understanding that anger and denial are exercises in futility. I have accepted, although with the cold hand of fear holding my heart so tightly. Maybe I worry too much, but then again, shouldn’t I?

Sometimes, I feel like the end of the tunnel is already in sight, with all the accompanying sunshine and silver linings, waiting for me to get there. Then something like this happens and I wonder if I am on the wrong track, going round and round in the dark.