Sunday, March 25, 2007

My MRI Experience

So I went in for my bilateral breast MRI on Friday, March 16, 2007. I got to the hospital around 5:40 (I was told to be there by 5:45 for my 6pm appointment). As per instructions, I brought a copy of my medical history with me, plus two sets of previous mammogram films. I filled up the forms handed me, and then sat down to wait for my name to be called.

Like a boxer being prepped for a big fight, I was weighed in. They calculated the contrast dye that will be used (based on my weight); and then I was to wait again. It is always the waiting time that makes one antsy, makes one anxious, makes one panic.

So, I distracted myself by reading the papers. After half an hour, I was starting to be bored. It was when I realised how calm I was. There is no queasiness in my stomach, no dizziness, no shortness of breath. And then I thought about the payment, and suddenly I got all three. Heeheehee.

I was finally called at 7:00 ( I was scheduled for 6:00). I got into the hospital gown and paused for a little bit, waiting for the panic attack to set in. I waited, and waited, and waited. No panic attack. I think I might just be a tad disappointed there.

Then, the nurse came in to give me an IV line. When she found out that I was post treatment (chemotherapy), she took one look at my veins and told me to wait while she fetch her colleague, someone more experienced than she in lining for IV. I said okay, grateful that my arm won't be feeling like a lace after.

The "expert" nurse came in and started to look for a vein in my arm. The tourniquet worked quite fine and the nurse was slapping my arm like crazy, trying to coax a vein to show itself. Finally, one reluctant vein appeared (my arm was getting sore at this point). The nurse made a go and voila! no blood backflow. Thus started the embroidery-like action of looking for the elusive vein. After some time, the nurse finally took out the needle and decided that that spot is not going to be it.

Next, we moved the tourniquet to my forearm near the wrist and the slapping of my hand started. A few minutes passed and finally a vein. In went the needle and voila! still no backflow! Shit! In and out, in and out, in and out went the needle, my hand was starting to numb at this point. I was so ready for them to line my IV on my operated side when aha! finally! the needle found its target! I feel so proud that my right arm is feeling like a Spanish lace newly tatted! Ouch, ouch, ouch.

So, I went into the MRI room, still feeling very calm. I was instructed then to lie on my stomach and was told not to move during the test. I asked how long this was going to last and was told that it would take 30 to 45 minutes. That long?

Before I climbed onto the table, I noticed that maximum weight that can be on top of the machine is 300 pounds. Well, that's a bit reassuring, at least the machine won't bog down with my weight (maybe that's another reason why they weigh me in?) Then I noticed that there were two cup-like depressions where I am supposed to lie on. Oh. I have to put my "girls" into those? Cool! At least they won't get squashed!

After a barrage of instructions, they finally hooked up the dye and let it flow. Wow, oooh, oooh, that was cold! I can feel it creeping up my arm. After they made sure that I was okay, the nurses/technicians finally began to slide me into the machine. And so it began.

Even with the earplugs (which really hurt when the nurses inserted them into my ears) the sounds inside the tunnel during the procedure was quite loud; and comes in different levels. It went bong, bong, bong, and then ding, ding, ding, and then a whole lot of other sounds. To entertain myself and to keep me calm, I closed my eyes when the table was pushed into the tunnel; when the different sounds came on, I pictured myself in a video game, going levels higher and higher and higher. I was the Mario sister. Toink, toink, toink, toink, toink.

Next thing I knew, there was this muffled sound informing me that "hmmmmpppupu pupupenmmpo...will be done soon." Okay, at least I got that last part. So, I closed my eyes again and it was then I realized that I must have dozed off. Heeheehee.

I was finally done, and when I checked the clock, I was shocked to see that it was already past 8 pm! Wow. How time flies! Did I have fun? Weird.

I finally got the results last Friday, March 23. Olive went with me to the hospital for moral support. I was a bit nervous on my way to the hospital, but when I got there, an odd calm overcame my jitters. I gave my receipt and sat down with Olive in the waiting area and waited for my name to be called.

I got my films and results a couple of minutes later. I signed for it, acknowledging that I have received the films and the results. I sat down, took a deep breath and began to read. Yada yada yada yada yada yada. Conclusion: No malignancy or recurrence seen.

Okay, that's good. Let's go home, Olive. And I skipped and hopped (in my mind) with a grin that nearly split my face all the way to the car. Spanish lace was worth it, after all.

P.S. When Olive found out the cost to have breast MRI mammogram, she said she would rather get her girls squashed! I agree.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Trigger Finger

Trigger finger? Chop it off before it does any damage!

To keep myself entertained and being bored, I am doing some transcription for I Can Serve. These transcriptions were given to me last October. It’s been five months and I still haven’t finished them. Somehow, things always get in the way – work, social life, play time, movie time, me time, all the time, etc. Yeah, right.

I promised to get this out of the way by the end of this month (that was what I also promised myself last January, and then again in February, *ROTL*), or at the latest, by Holy Week. So, here I am, trying to speed things up, when my trigger finger got in the way.

Darn! (plus all other invectives in English, Pilipino, Chinese, and all!) and another darn! (again, plus all other invectives in English, Pilipino, Chinese, and all!)

With the electricity fluctuation happening everyday, it became my habit (got it from transcription) to save the opened document every now and then. Well, let’s just say I (stupidly) overwrote a finished document with a fresh one. Ouch! Darn! (plus all other invectives in English, Pilipino, Chinese, and all!)

With all the swearing (in thought balloons) I’m directing at me, there are still two things to appreciate on the upside. One, it woke me up (I was nearly at the point of nodding off to sleep), and two, the transcribed file I overwrote is the shortest one in the lot.

Okay, enough of the foul language to me and let me go back to my transcription; but before I do that, one last hurrah: Darn! (plus all other invectives in English, Pilipino, Chinese, and all!)

Friday, March 16, 2007

Claustrophobia

I'm feeling quite lost and have been pretty lethargic for a few weeks now. I don't know what to do, what to focus on. Am I having a *GASP!* mid-life crisis?! Even my colleague noticed this. He said that it seems I am just going through the motions and seemed listless, as if I lost the passion for life. Of course I denied this, saying that I'm just feeling a bit tired lately.

I find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and yet I cannot sleep early at night. I find myself craving for sweets - a sure sign that something's bothering me. I find myself sitting in my work station in the office, staring into my computer and yet I do not know what work to do. My brain's lethargic. I don't even want to decide on things as simple as picking a place for dinner.

The usual pick-me-ups doesn't seem to do the trick. I'm restless; very, very restless. Then it hit me today - this started to build up when my oncologist told me to get a bilateral breast MRI. I maybe just a teensy weensy bit antsy about my scheduled MRI. Yeah, I think I'm just worried, as I tend to be claustrophobic. These are sure signs when I am worried about something - I can't sleep, I feel tired, I get cranky, and I eat (a lot!).

I'll update you on my MRI experience next. It is scheduled for tonight at 6. This should be quite an experience.