Frankie

I am not in a habit of mentioning names and posting pictures of people I know in this blog for the simplest of reason: Preserving their privacy. However, I am going to break this now and introduce you to Dr. Frances Blanco-Dizon, fondly known as Frankie or Dr. Frankie to her family and friends.

I came to know Frankie only after I got sick. If ever there are any regrets in my relationship with her, it is only that I did not come to know her sooner.

Frankie was afflicted with breast cancer herself. She was diagnosed while she was still doing her surgical residency at PGH. Having cancer did not hold her back. Frankie went on to become an onco-surgeon. Since then, there was no going back for her. As she bravely soldiered on with her own battle with the disease, Frankie touched countless of lives, not only as a doctor, but as a cancer survivor as well.

I was one of those people who Frankie picked up along the (cancerous) way. I clearly remembered being in total awe of a total stranger, one who is not only beautiful, but also brave and kind. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, while my head was whizzing with all those information dumped on me, while I was at a loss on where to go from there, Frankie entered my life, and just like that, she shone a light on the dark path that I was on. She was the one who showed me that there is life with cancer and that it is worth fighting tooth and nail for every inch of the way. With her unassuming and uncondescending manner, she provided me what I needed at that time of darkness, a friend who understands what I was going through, who assures me that everything will be all right.

Frankie founded a breast cancer support group in Cagayan de Oro. I am sure that the group sorely missed her. The group have reached out and provided support for lots of women that needed it. She was also active and was our resident doctor of the I Can Serve egroup. She would explain in simplest of terms the most complicated sounding medical terms associated with breast cancer, and she had always succeeded in putting the worst fears of the members to rest.

When I found out that Frankie had a recurrence early this year, I cannot help but cry with her as we chatted on the net. It was my turn to "hold" her hand and I am glad to be able to do so, even if it was only for a brief ten minutes or so. From common friends, I heard that Frankie finally agreed to do another round of chemotherapy, which she was reluctant to have at first. I salute her for her courage, knowing how hard it is for one's body (not to mention psychologically)to go through chemotherapy yet again.

Last Sunday morning, July 16, 2006, at 8:30 in the morning, Frankie finally succumbed to cancer. When I found out about it on Monday morning, I simply could not stop my tears from flowing.

Frankie, you were one amazing tough lady. You were a beacon whose light was extinguished prematurely. We all will miss you terribly.

Joujou

Bad joujou, that's what I have been having lately. Those who watch Grey's Anatomy would be familiar with this term; for those who do not watch the series, it's roughly translated into one word: Luck.

Last Monday was one of the worse days of my life. Even I could not believe the amount of bad joujou coming my way the whole day that day.

I woke up with a headache (not a good sign as I usually get sick afterwards). When I got to the office, I opened my yahoo account and I found out that a dear friend have passed. Then, nothing at work seemed to go right. My computer broke down and had to be carted off to the shop. People I have to deal with were being difficult. Silly and outrageous demands were being made left and right. The working day finally ended. I thankfully left the office, hoping to leave behind the bad joujou.

On the way home, I was quite antsy about the rain coming down. It had rained earlier in the afternoon, so before I left the office, I turned on the wipers to clean the windshield. Imagine how dumbfounded I was when the wipers proceeded to cross each other and made an "X", after which I have to manually disentangle them! I really, really, REALLY wanted to cry and bawl and kick myself silly then; but it's all inside.

I had planned on playing badminton that night, to expend/expel all the negative energy. Then I remembered that I left my badminton gear at home. Now, I have to go home and change. No worries it's just a 15-minute drive home. Well, the 15-minute drive became an hour. Traffic was really bad.

It was then that I decided I had enough. I would not venture out anymore, lest I tempt fate further and hurt myself at the courts. I would just stay put. Read a book perhaps, for I dare not go online, the computer might get a whole bunch of virus, worms, spyware, adware, and whatever else is there that you can get online. Worse still would be if it got so bad that the computer would crash, heaven forbid!

So, I took a bath, hoping to wash away all the bad joujou of the day, and stayed home.

Things are getting better (with that luck, things have no where to go but up, right?), but it seems that I still have some residual bad joujou left. Today, I got myself a runny nose. I woke up with a scratchy throat, and Boyd has to stay in the shop longer than originally planned.

So how does one chase it all (the bad joujou) away? Help?

Not Meant To Be

After waiting for a month, I finally heard from the retail chain where I submitted my curriculum vitae. I have all but given up on it, knowing deep down that I did not get the job because of my medical history.

I have told the person who referred me that if the company will have a problem with my being a cancer survivor, then I will definitely be having problems working for them. I simply cannot work for somebody who thinks that I will drop dead for sure at some point in time during work.

I got a call from the referring person this afternoon, telling me that the company have no problems whatsoever with my credentials. However, I was told that I might not pass the medical requirements. Yep, I was right.

Well, I think that I am simply not meant to be working for this company. This is the second time that I have applied for a job with this company, and both times I got really lame excuses for their non acceptance. I feel sad.

2nd Quarterly Check Up

There's no putting it off anymore, so I went to see my Oncologist last Thursday. I was getting anxious again when I stepped on hospital grounds. I DO think it is psychological. Unpleasant stuff associated with hospitals.

I brought along my lab results, of which I was quite satisfied. Everything was within normal range except for my liver functions SGPT and SGOT, which were elevated to almost twice the normal levels.

My good doctor was also happy with my lab results, my weight, and even with my blood pressure (which I am so proud of: 120/75! Imagine that!) With regards to my liver function, we both think it is a side effect of taking tamoxifen (I did some research before going to the hospital). I will be taking a repeat lab next week (2 weeks from last lab) of my liver function before we decide how to tackle this hurdle.

Overall, I had the stamp of "in good condition". Next check-up will be in three months. With the usual lab exam, plus a CT scan. Oh, lordy!