I Have Hair!

I finally went to Calamba yesterday to have my first haircut (of my new curly, big baby hair). I can't stand my hair anymore and is on the verge of shaving it all off myself; the novelty of having a different hairdo eveytime I wake up was wearing thin.

I can't stand the thought of having to sport my almost afro-like hairdo for another week. Since Olive is still swamped with work and won't be able to accompany me till next weekend, I decided to go ahead. I asked my cousin to go with me and thankfully she agreed.

I should give my friend, Ipe, credit though. It was all that he could do to hold back his laughter when he saw my hair! Well, even if he did burst out laughing, I won't blame him - my hair DOES look terrible and funny. Thanks to Ipe's magic and talent, I'm now sporting what I call "Phobe Halliwell" hair - a close-cropped cut. The pixie look, Ipe calls it, but I can't bring myself to call it that since I have a big face and does not look dainty at all! Pixie? (blink, blink) *insert canned laughter into the background* Ipe said afterwards that I should have my pictures taken for I am the perfect candidate for "before" and "after" pictures. *ROTFL*

Now I looked like a "normal" person again, no more big hair. My hair looks like it's mine again and not some poorly styled wig that was propped on top of my head. I think it was worth the trip to Calamba!

Looking Back, Looking Forward

As I has my blood extracted this morning at the laboratory, I realized that it was exactly a year ago today that I found my cancer, and perhaps took the very first step of this journey I'm in. Today marks the 1st year anniversary of the discovery of my cancer - discovery not diagnosis. What a difference a year makes!

Today, I'm still at it - fighting cancer, that is. I had blood extracted this morning in preparation for my CT scan tomorrow. Thursday next week, I'll be having my bone scan. I honestly can't say that I am without apprehension for these tests. The what-ifs are rearing their ugly heads again. On the other hand, I'm looking forward to hearing the words: "Congratulations, you are now cancer free." Even if I wanted to put off these tests indefinitely, I have to summon what courage I have left and schedule the tests myself. I am thinking that this is like taking that plunge from the 30-foot high bridge - one just have to go ahead and make that leap of faith.

This should be interesting.

P.S. Oh, did I mention that I'm claustrophobic?

Big Sis or BI?

Playing the big sis or playing the B.I. (bad influence)?

Last Thursday night, I got a text from my cousin Christine, Claire's sister. She said that she's in Manila for a month for training. When I got home from classes, I asked her to call me up at home. Christine's been in Manila since November 7 and so far, has been a very good girl. She's been studying hard for her exams and had not been partying. She asked where she could play badminton with her officemates. So, I volunteered to book a court for them, and asked if she wanted to watch Harry Potter with me on Saturday.

Saturday, I left work early to pick up Christine from her hotel and we went to Greenhills - to do some shopping first at the tiangge (sort of like flea market), and then dinner and movie. As promised, we were able to do all three, although Christine was overwhelmed with the tiangge (not knowing where to start looking). After two and a half hours of shopping, we had dinner at Teriyaki Boy, where we over ate (so what else is new?).

To walk off the extra food consumed, we went to the night market located at the other side of the mall. When we got there, we were just in time for the Christmas presentation (by COD). The presentation was nice (although there were no dancing live mannequins, unlike before in COD Cubao), and the crowd was wowed.

After going through the stalls, we till have some time left before the showing of Harry Potter. Nowhere to go? We decided to go check out what's happening at the badminton courts. Turns out there was an ongoing tournament. I saw some friends, said my hi's and hello's, and then we headed for the movies.

We met up with some friends and went to see the movie together. The movie was better than I expected (or maybe it's because I wasn't expecting anything). After the movies, we had coffee (well, they had coffee, I had a pseudo-fruit shake). We headed home after. I was able to deposit Christine back to her hotel at around 2AM. =)

Now, I was looking for someone to go watch the play Aspects of Love with, and have been quite unsuccessful so far. Work willing, Christine can make it this Saturday. I'll have her home earlier this time, promise!

Sleepless in Manila

Six months after my chemo treatment, three months after my radiotherapy, just when I'm only taking tamoxifen, I find myself having insomnia, just when I don't do steroids anymore!

For the a week now (this started last Wednesday night), I find myself wide awake at night. No matter how tired I am at the end of the day, I can't sleep. Except for that night when I slept over at Cavite. Hmm...is it the air? Or the food? At first, I thought it was the coffee, so I stopped having my coffee late in the afternoon. With or without coffee, I'm still wide awake at 130 in the morning! Must be something else.

Last night, I checked the clock. 2AM, am still having trouble sleeping. What usually does the trick is when I would turn off all the lights in the room and then close my eyes. Sometimes, I'd fall asleep right away, other times, it takes another half hour.

Will have to play cloak and dagger to check why I've been having these spells.

Hairy Scenes

No offense meant to anyone who is follicle-challenged (or is it follically-challenged?). I just want to share a couple of hair anecdotes.

My hair used to be coarse, thick, and straight. Now, I'm sporting chemo hair-hair that is fine and curly. I'm lucky that I still got masses of it; some of my "sisters" hair grew back thinner. They also have curly hair. Curls is one of the "side effects" of chemo, if you can call it that, since there are other survivors who actually enjoy their curls.

Now, my curls are giving me some nightmares (?); with each passing day, my hair grows bigger (longer). Every morning, I would either wake up with a "horny" hair-do (curls that stand out in a bunch, looking like tiny horns here and there (Jedi Imbo should know this, hehehe), or I'd have lop-sided hair where you can tell which side I slept on the night before. There are other days when I'd wake up with an Astroboy hair-do or I'd look like one of those anime characters. I've taken to the pleasure/curse (?) of surprising myself on how'd I look every morning when I wake up.

Friends and acquaintances who have not seen me for some time are usually glad to see that my hair has grown back. Some are even envious of my hair. A friend good naturedly told me: Hayop ka, Vanj! Mas makapal pa buhok mo sa akin! Bwiset! (Vanj, I hate you. You have more hair than I do); to which I replied: Magpa chemo ka, baka lumago (Go have chemotherapy, maybe your hair will grow back thicker!); and we shared a good laugh. My standard reply nowadays when I talked to people who ask me how I am is: I'm fine. Growing big hair. Others are not so tactful. One asked me flat out: Is that real hair or wig? To which I retorted: Oh, it's real, and I got more than you do! *Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!*

Well, I DO look like I'm sporting a wig. Isn't that funny? I am toying with the idea of having my haircut on Feb. 25 next year, to celebrate a year of no haircut, but I think I really need to get that haircut now.

Hormonal Imbalance?

It's been a week since I last posted. There's nothing much going on with me, well, nothing I want to share here anyway. It's been a crappy week, and if today is any indication, crappy days will be here for a few more days. I really hope not! Allow me to rant and rave a little, just to get things out of my system!

Inefficiency and ineptitude, not to mention laziness, is at its finest at work. I'm summoning all my willpower not to blow my top (perhaps it's high time that I do). Stressed out, am I? That could be an understatement. I have marked my calendar to spend this saturday with Gigi, to get me back some mental health.

I noticed that I easily get irritated with people at work nowadays, more so than usual. So, I've been spending my days cooped up in my hole, trying to avoid everybody.

Should I blame all this on hormonal imbalance? Maybe that's why I get irritated easily; but then again, we still have to consider the ineptitude of the people here. People are trying to show off to the boss how hardworking they are. Well, in fairness, maybe they are, for they have to work on almost everything twice to get it right. Things that are so simple that one can get the job done with one eye closed and one hand tied on the back; but somehow these things get all muddled up. *Sigh*

I'm not being high and mighty. Just getting intolerant ... at stupidity.