Game of Tag

Okay, okay. I will play along, having been tagged by Mavic and Olive, I'll do this before somebody else tagged me again. =) oh, the pressure!

Game 1
The rule is: what are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal… and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

1. Take a walk. As walking here in Manila is kinda hazardous, taking a walk is a challenge. I used to drive to UP and walk around the academic oval. One had the company of other people who are either jogging or cycling, making me feel safe. I have yet to do this again this year as I have been sidelined by the big C. Soon, very soon!

2. Take a long drive. This usually just means Tagaytay. But on the rare occassion that I need to go to Angeles City (work related), I love the drive.

3. Read a book or spend an afternoon in the bookstore.

4. Do my crosstitch. Explore other crafts that I can possible dabble in.

5. Veg out at the beach. Although these are far and few in between.

6. Watch 2 movies in a row.

Game 2
The Game of threes

Names you go by:
1. Vangie
2. Vanj
3. 'te Vanj

Screen names you have had:
1. Petunia
2. Miss Piggy
3. Bianca

Physical things you like about yourself:
1. Hair (then and now)
2. Teeth
3. *bleeep*

Physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. Height (wishing I could be a couple of inches taller)
2. my flabby tummy
3. my flabby arms

Parts of your heritage:
1. Chinese
2. Cagayanon (Cagayan de Oro) ?
3. Manileña (lived here more than half of my life) ?

Things that scare you:
1. Disappointing my parents
2. Leaving this world without making a difference (maybe not on a grand scale, but at least making SOME)
3. Escalators - go figure!

Everyday essentials:
1. Laughter
2. Living
3. Learning

Favorite musical artists:
1. David Lanz
2. Rod Stewart (the balladeer, not the rocker)
3. Enya

Favorite songs:
1. Behind the Waterfalls by David Lanz
2. A Whiter Shade of Pale by David Lanz
3. If We Fall In Love Tonight by Rod Stewart

Things you want in a relationship:
1. Respect
2. Trust
3. Unconditinal acceptance

Lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. I don't hold grudges
2. Fighting cancer was a breeze
3. I like bearded guys

TRUTH:
1. We can't change a person's nature, we can just influence them
2. Don't break my trust in you
3. I'm pretty easy to get along with

Physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Height
2. Butt
3. Eyes

Favorite hobbies:
1. Cross Stitching
2. Travelling
3. Bookstore browsing

Things you want to do really badly now:
1. See my friends that I haven't seen for a long time
2. Play badminton
3. Play badminton

Careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Forensic Scientist
2. Tailor
3. Be an filthy rich heiress - what? this is not a career???

Places you want to go on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Thailand
3. Shanghai - to see a dear friend!

Kid's names you like:
1. Drew
2. Trevor
3. Maxine (this name was actually on Olive's, my brother's and my list when my niece's name was being picked out)

Things you want to do before you die:
1. Travel the world
2. Have my own company
3. Make a difference in someone's life

Ways that you are stereotypically female:
1. I pay attention to details
2. I love bags
3. I like to keep things in their place

Ways that you are steriotypically male:
1. I can speed shop
2. I like checking out appliances
3. I like my beer

Three people I admire:
1. my dad
2. my mom
3. Lance Armstrong

*Sigh* This thing sure rocks your brain! And I rather not tag anyone... but feel free to jump in and give your version! =)

Shampoo Commercial?

As promised, picture/s of me with my new 'do!

Sequence here can be good for a shampoo commercial.




Tears of joy (?) that I will be shampooing again?!!





Of course, we have to show what shampoo I will use to wipe away the tears. I chose a baby shampoo for my baby hair! *LOL*




So, here I am, a happy customer. No more tears, no more fears! =)

Life's Lottery

Upon reaching the hospital yesterday afternoon, there were only two patients in line before me. It should have been a short wait but the machine broke down and is being repaired. So, I sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting area.

A fellow patient strike up a conversation with me. By and by, his wife came and joined in the conversation. I found out that this is his fourth recurrence. His cancer started in his nose cavity ten years ago. Since then, it had came back time and again. This time around, the cancer have spread to his lungs, liver and bones. He's on his final four radiation treatment and is in constant pain. After which, he will be resting for two months and then it's chemotherapy again. Mr. L, the patient, said he's getting tired of all the medication, it is too taxing on his body.

I found out a while later that his oncologists have already given up on him since the cancer have already reached his vital organs. He won't be having chemotherapy again. His wife just told him that to keep from him the extent of the disease. Mr. L does not drink nor smoke. He eats a healthier diet than his wife. No family history of cancer, too.

Mr. and Mrs. L are very nice people. It is in times like these that it really pains me to see life's mysteries at work. It makes me sad. Before we parted ways, they both told me with all belief and conviction in their hearts that I will be well, a hundred percent. It is like they wanted to hand me a certification of guarantee that I will be well. And I bet they would, too, if they could.

Life's lottery - who knows what you'll be getting next?

Play Date

Last weekend, my brother flew in together with my sister-in-law and niece. Since both of the adults have to attend a drug launch Friday night, our (Olive's and mine) services as babysitters were tapped.

Oh, goody! Play date with Max! Knowing that Max does not take to unfamiliar persons easily, I got some "bribe toys" from the office. I got some kitchenware set and a set of Play-Doh modelling compound.

The toys were a big hit! Olive and I gave up long before Max got tired of playing. While playing, Max would break out into songs and chatted incessantly, talking to us, asking us questions about the show on tv. That kid can put the Windows OS to shame!

We also got a dose of her never ending sentences.
Max: Twako! Why is Diko on the floor?
Me: Diko's sleeping.
Max: 'Coz?
Me: 'Coz she's tired.
Max: To?
Me: To? What to?
then the kid smiled and break into laughter!

It was an amazing weekend. In a span of 3 days, we were able to interact with Max, learned a lot about her, talked, laughed and played with her. Makes us adore her all the more. That kid got us wrapped around her tiny fingers!

Yellow Jersey No. 7

Lance Armstrong at the Tour de France Podium receiving his 7th (and last) Tour de France title. That's going out in style and definitely with a bang! Hat's off!

25

Today is July 25.

Exactly five months ago (February 25), I had my last shampoo before I shave off my hair.

Today, I had my first shampoo. Hooray!

I finally got to buy my baby shampoo yesterday - amid teasing from family and friends . They said I should have a picture taken while picking out the shampoo. I retorted that I should be crying while I take the bottle off the shelf! We all had a laugh.

Today is also the 25th session of my radiotherapy. What a coincidence! =)

Technicians

As of today, I have finished five weeks (24 sessions) of radiotherapy. 2 more weeks (9 sessions) to go and I'll be celebrating the end of my "active" treatments. After that will be just drugs and check-ups.

I have been removing my blouse for 4 guys all these 5 weeks (and also for the next 2 weeks) for 5 days each week. They are the technicians who operate the machine that gives me my daily dose of radiation. All are very professional and courteous. Let's call them A, D, G and J.

J is the chatty one; he knows quite a lot about the patients and asks a lot of questions - but never offensive in nature or context. G is the most reserved of the lot. He quitely goes about his work but sometimes the talking bug bites him and he'll crack jokes and share with you some stories. D is the most "playful" one. He'd exchange banters with you while you're checking how long is the line before you. A, I seldom see, but he was the one who treated me today.

D and A both love to sing, that much I know. D once broke out into a song while preparing the machine for treatment. Singing falsetto - "I'm every woman..." - coming from a skinhead 5'7" or 5'8" guy who weighs around 180 to 200 pounds, it's kinda eerie and at the same time funny. And he's not at all a "woman".

A was singing while treating me. If not for the melody, I would not have recognized the song. He was singing, alternating between his voice and falsetto, "wa wa chu pee... pi po chu pee... and love me dying...wa!" Maybe he jest; for a little later he was singing the same thing again, but this time with the right lyrics. "War, war is stupid, people are stupid and love means nothing, in some strange quarters...War!" Well, it's a new version of The War Song of Culture Club. Quite entertaining *LOL*

Unbelievable

My hair is now a bit short of half an inch. I may have to buy shampoo soon. Maybe baby shampoo for my baby hair. I will post picture soon, promise!

This morning, I woke up early because I plan to bring my car to the office. Since it is my "coding" day (if your car plate ends in a certain number, then on certain days, you can't ply the streets from 7 to 10AM, and then 3 to 7PM; although there are some cities in the metro that you can't use your car from 7AM to 7PM), I have to leave the house by 6:30 at the latest.

Still groggy from sleep, barely able to open my eyes, I plod on to the bathroom to prepare for work. Imagine my amazement when I saw hair in the mirror. Nothing special maybe, it's just that the right side has a 90 degree angle halfway. The lower half is flat (probably because I lay on my side while sleeping) and the top half just standing merrily. I tried to fluff the lower half and flatten the other half. Nothing worked.

I have barely half an inch hair and yet I am having a bad hair day!

Oh, yeah. I solved the problem by wetting my hair and fluff it with the towel. Afterwhich, it got squashed with my hat. Why do I even bother?

Daddy

Papa's in town. He's attending some activities of the Filipino Chinese Amity Club. He went to Subic last Friday and got back Sunday. Olive and I went to see him Sunday afternoon.

Papa's quite happy to see us. I removed my hat upon entering his room so that he can see that my hair's growing. At first he just smiled and looked quite happy to see my growing hair. I think this is a big turnabout from the shock he got the last time he saw me in his hospital room. Hehehe...

A bit later, Papa took a good look at me and we saw that he's holding back tears - I'd like to think that these are tears of joy, tears of thanksgiving. I quickly assured him that all's going to be well. He then, as his habit when we were kids, took a deep breath from my head, inhaling the smell of my head. I think to Papa, my growing hair is the ultimate sign that I am healing, that I am getting better everyday. I think there is no more a frightening/painful thought to a parent than that of the possibilty of having their child pass from this world before them.

Sound of Music

Max, my niece, is two years and five months old. And she has very definite ideas of what she likes in music.

Last December, it was the usual kiddie songs from Sesame Street, Elmo, and Walt Disney. She's hooked on Elmocise, Mulan, and the like. A month or two ago, she found joy in watching the Carlos Santana concert. She would alternate this with the Divas and Madonna.

I guess as with all things, if one is exposed to it constantly, one gets tired of it and moves on. Now Max is into the movie The Sound of Music. =)

Max and her music, go figure! *LOL*

Where's the Voice?

Starting last Sturday, I woke up with sniffles. During the day, it would sometimes go away, this made me believe that it is only allergies.

Monday, the sniffles did not stop. Tuesday, my throat starts to feel scratchy, and I started coughing. By last night, I'm getting pretty miserable. I fell into an uneasy sleep, waking up every 30 minutes due to the scratchy throat and coughing. I rummaged through the medicines we have at home at found half a bottle of sore throat powder. What the heck, I'll try anything at that point, just to get some shut-eye and rest. Hey, it worked! I finally slept.

I woke up this morning with no voice. I am whispering. On the way to the office, I stopped by the drugstore and picked up some medicine. Now, my joints are aching, I must be coming down with the flu. I wonder how this will work out? I had a flu shot a couple of months back.

I tried to think what could have made the progress from sniffles to coughs and cold that fast...oh yeah, I've been spending half of my days at the hospital. Not exactly the cleanest environment.

Politics

Politics? I have always hate it. There are 2 things that I try to avoid talking about - politics and religion. For the obvious reasons - either you end up in fisticuffs with the other party, or it's a never ending debate that goes on and on and on and on and on that end up in fisticuffs.

No matter how hard I've tried to ignore the going ons in the Philippine politics the past month, I can't help but be aware of it. It's one scandal after another that besiege the incumbent president - jueteng, then the Gloriagate tapes. And now, it's the issue of having the president stay or resign or have her impeached.

To an ordinary citizen of this country, it's all one big circus. With everyone having his/her own opinion of the political events, and everyone offering a "solution" to the problem/s, it's a wonder that this country still exist.

I deal with my own stuff everyday, perhaps it is the very reason that most of the time, my perception of the country's political situation is so surreal. In the turn of the events of the past month, I can only draw one conclusion - the politician who loves the Philippines so much that that person will put the country's interest before his/her own is yet to be born. Besides, the Filipinos must learn to love their country first before this political disease can be cured once and for all.

Waiting Game

When I was doing chemotherapy, my chief complaint is the hyperacidity and the fatigue. Now I'm doing radiotherapy, my chief complaint would be the time (and money) spent waiting for my turn at radiation.

For 5 days a week, I would drive to St. Luke's, get a parking space (which is no mean feat at St. Luke's), get a number, get in line and begin the LOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG wait. If I'm lucky, I'd only wait for 2 hours, but average waiting time is 3 hours. I have thought of going back to the office while waiting for my turn, but the thought of getting a parking space again always stop me.

I got a book with me at the start of my radiotherapy. I find this book a very difficult read, the plot does not hold my interest, but I bravely (or stupidly) read on. Today, while reading and falling asleep (right after drinking a cup of coffee at that!) during the 4 hour wait, I managed to finish the book. That was a tough one.

Patience, thy name is (turning into) Vangie.

Team Discovery Channel

Team Discovery Channel

The team Discovery Channel, led by Lance Armstrong took the lead in the team time trials at Tour de France. I still do not understand fully how the ranking works but I understand enough that with this lead, plus the unfortunate spill of David Zubriski, put Lance Armstrong into the number 1 spot again.

I've been checking out some sports channel on the cable tv which shows the Tour. I've been monitoring it this whole week, for around 15 minutes, 7:45 to 8:00 every night. Just in time to catch the last portion of each leg.

I wonder why I keep on watching something I do not understand night after night. Well, aside from learning something about the Tour and checking Lance's standing, there are plenty of eye candies in the race.

Cousin and Niece

It was Virra Joy's birthday yesterday. Instead of me sending her a birthday greeting via SMS, I got one from her. It said: Ate, I am in labor now. It started at 4:30 this morning, I hope we will have the same birthday!

Oh my! The kid that I used to babysit is now giving birth to a kid herself! Where has the time gone? I feel....OLD....

I found out today that Virra gave birth to Bianca, a 6.6 (or is it 6.8?) pound baby, at 4:30 this morning! Talk about labor; Virra endured it for 24 hours! I was able to talk to her this afternoon, and she sounded tired but happy. Virra might be able to go home tomorrow but Bianca have to stay behind in the hospital for at least a week due to some infection. I assured Virra it is all for the best.

We chatted for a few more minutes, with Virra regaling me of her experience. I guess it will always be that way between us; I will always be the elder sister who she can talk to; ask questions of, even with topics that I know nothing about (like childbirth) . I'm happy for Virra.

Check Up

Check up, also known as doctor's appointment, will be part of my life now. I had my check up with my oncologist last Tuesday, the first since I finished my chemotherapy.

I asked about diet, exercise and diet supplements. I also have to deal with the fact that I may not have amenorrhea (absence of menstrual cycle) yet. Something very undesirable. With chemotherapy, my menstruation is supposed to stop after the 2nd or 3rd cycle. This is the desired reaction as my cancer is hormone receptive. With chemotherapy, my estrogen levels are supposed to go down to the point that I will be amenorrheic. The longer, the better - the lesser chance of recurrence. Early menopause, is the other (kinder, too) name of this forced medical condition. I, however, have not gone into that stage. So, my doctor gave me two options if I menstruate again this month - surgical removal of my ovaries or I get injected with some drug every four weeks.

After hearing the possibility of yet another surgery, my logical side begun to shut down again. Refusing to digest any more information. I have to struggle to understand my doctor's explanation since after the word surgery, my doctor's voice started to warble. I was thinking: oh, man! My 2nd hospitalization and it will be another surgery! Another surgery that will be labelled as "catastrophic" by the medicare/Philippine Health Insurance. Catastrophic indeed! Imagine having another "meltdown"! Embarrasing!

Somehow, I managed to survive the appointment. Thankfully, I have asked all the questions (I think) I wanted about other stuff before we touched on the possibility of surgery. And as I wait (something I'm getting to be an expert at), I'll try not to think about it.

Being a girl/woman is REALLY complicated; spins my head around!

Icon for Cancer

Lance Armstrong's winning form

Who better a spokesperson for cancer is there than Lance Armstrong? I don't think there's anyone. My hero is currently gunning for his 7th (and supposedly last) title of Tour de France. I saw him on TV yesterday, not quite understanding what's going on as I only caught the last part of the first leg of Tour de France. But I could not have timed it better for I saw how he rode to overtake his main rival, Jan Ullrich (1997 Tour champ) - at a mere two kilometers from the finish line! Wow! Can that man ride!

Armstrong's currently in 2nd place, but the Tour isn't over yet and he's trailing by two seconds. For the first time, I'll be interested in Tour de France; I'll be checking on the sports page every day to check on Armstrong's standing. And yes, I'll definitely will be rooting for him in his quest for his 7th title. The rest of the participants can try again next year!

Good luck, Lance Armstrong!