Tossed Up

I got our ultrasound results this morning. Olive got a clean bill of health, yay! I, on the other hand, have to go see a surgeon again.

There was a solid mass seen in the sonogram. It is lobular in shape, but with no calcifications or abnormal vascularity seen.

I was able to talk to the doctor who did the sonogram and he suggested that I see my surgeon and oncologist. At this point, he said it is his gut feel that the mass seen is scar tissue, but the only way to rule out recurrence of cancer is to have a biopsy.

I admit I'm stumped. I felt cold, numb. I am reacting more negatively than I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. I am not sure if I can handle going through another operation, mentally and emotionally speaking. I feel all tossed up inside.

I called my oncologist to tell her about the findings. She asked me to go to this surgeon later this afternoon. I agreed. Better to put everything into perspective and see the whole picture rather than wonder what it is all about. In the meantime, I'm scared shitless. I guess that's just the way the cookie crumbles.